Day one of no masturbation

I am sick of the mental and emotional state that masturbation is making me feel. Like many things, masturbation is incredibly addicting. I want to avoid any addiction which brings me suffering. When I see women, two problems are born from masturbation. #1 Women are reduced to mere body parts. I have little interest in getting to know or connecting with women, and I become only interested in using them for sexual gratification. This is normal to have a libido, but there is a major imbalance. #2 Erectile Dysfunction. When I get addicted to giving myself orgasms, for whatever reason (likely less sexual energy) I cannot perform well during sex. #3 I want to be one of God's gift to women. Women have qualities that I, and most men lack. Women are the more spiritual gender of humanity because of how in touch they are with the way they, and other people feel. They are highly emotionally intelligent, and are the most beautiful creations on this entire planet in my view. With massage for all women, and the giving of immensely euphoric orgasms to a woman who seeks that from me, I want the ablility to send women into healthy euphoria. Not for my own gain, that which I stand to gain is a woman who gifts me with her feminine insights, empathy, and openness. To protect and bring joy to the women this world intends me to help, is a calling I know I'm wanting to heal. As of now, I don't grow close to any women because I feel ashamed that I cannot be useful to them. And since I feel this way, I feel discouraged to even go so far as to start a conversation. When you can't get it up because you masturbate too much, there's simply no point in talking to them, knowing that even if they grew close to me, I would be useless. I am sick of this feeling. I need to remind myself that I've went 6 and a half months without masturbating before, I was much happier and more hopeful. This is my quest to become extremely useful to women. I do not want to serve any man other than myself at this point in my life, though that may change at some point. I want to be worthy enough to heal the women who seek healing.